Brauche von jemanden mit guten Englischkenntnissen hilfe

ThePain

Cadet 4th Year
Registriert
Juni 2004
Beiträge
81
Hallo, es ist so, dass ich in Einglisch ein Referat halten muss und noch dazu die Ausarbeit abgeben. Nun da meine Englischkenntnisse nicht die besten sind bitte ich jemanden von euch der der in Englisch super ist, meinen nachfolgenden Text über Metallica nach gramatikalischen Fehlern zu untersuchen.
Wäre echt nett wenn ihr mir helfen würdet.



The history of Metallica can be traced back till the late seventies. At that time the young, Danish Metalfan Lars Ullrich emigrated in the USA. There he acquaint the rowdy James Hetfield. The both decided to found a band. Because two people are at least one person to few for a Metalband, one pal of James joined to it. Namely Ron McGovney who played the bass. In addition Dave Mustaine came at the guitar. Lars was responsible for the drums and James for the singing and the second guitar. Only a name was missing. A friend wanted to know by Lars how he should call his Metal magazine. He had thought up some things which he showed to Lars. Among them also the name Metallica. Lars was inspired by the name immediately, which is why he asked his pal to give this name to its band. Metallica was born.
The band recording their first demo with the name "No Life til Leather" and played smaller Gigs in and around Los Angeles which were taken up by the people very well what entailed that the band had after a short time already a few loyal fans. of course, now bassist Ron McGovney had to say goodbye, because Metallica was not contented with him. Then in a bar James and Lars got to know the gifted bass player Cliff Burton.
The second sacking was approaching. It came often to disputes with Dave Mustaine. He had to go, after he hit James two teeth off. He was replaced with the Exodus guitarist Kirk Hammet.
The demo "No Life til Leather" spreads more and more in the Underground. Also the New Yorker producer Jon Zazula heared the demo, and invite the band to himself to New York. There thez recorded the Album „ Kill ’ em all “. The record appears in the end of 1983 and accepted worldwide enthusiastically. Indeed, the Sound was not quite good and also James was not a very good singer, however, it was one of the first hard Metal albums.
In 1984 Metallica published their second album "Ride the Lightning" which sounded distinctly better than the predecessor.
Then in 1986 with "Master of Puppets “ succeed the big breakthrough. That album belong to the absolute classical of the Metal . Then, after the tours in the USA, Metallica went to Europe where on the 9/27/1986 an awful accident occurred. The driver of the tour bus falls asleep at the wheel and the bus gets except control, Cliff was dead right away. The other members remained unhurtly. With Cliff Metallica had lost not only a good friend, but also the audience favourite of the band and an ambitious song writer. So Metallica resolved to look around a new bassist. Jason Newsted was selected from a big number of applicants.
There followed two other publications. The EP " Garage Days Re-Revisited “ with a lot of cover versions of bands, the Metallica influenced and the video „ Cliff ’ em all “ which was published to the memory to Cliff.
Then in 1988 followed the album „ And Justice for all “.
In 1991 „ The Black Album “ was published. Producer was Bob Rock. The album differed clearly to its predecessors. The songs got shorter and more profound and developed away from the furious Speed Metal of the early years, there to the mainstream Metal and Hard Rock. The record stormed the charts. The band sacked many prices and awards. Now Metallica were no more pure Metal Act, but also an important size in the commercial pop business as for example Bon Jovi or Gun's' n Roses.
Then there followed in 1995 and 1997 both Load discs which were influenced strongly by blues and Country and so also no more earn the predicate "Metal". The fans were rather disappointed.
Then in 1999 come the Live album "S&M". It is a recording of a unique concert that had played with Michael Kamen Symphony Orchester. The old songs became supported by classical elements . The new version of "Nothing Else Matters" was long in the charts.
Then in the beginning of 2001 was an exit again . On account of health problems bassist and audience favourite Jason Newsted left the Band. Meanwhile the three left members have founded a new bass player: Robert Trujillo. The former Ozzy - Bassist is a master of his field and absolutely the right occupation.
 
ich hab mich mal eines ersten Teils angenommen:


The history of Metallica can be traced back till the late seventies. At that time the young, danish Metalfan Lars Ullrich emigrated in the USA. There he met (the rowdy) James Hetfield and both decided to set up a band. Two people are at least one person to few for a Metalband so that one pal of James, namely Ron McGovney who played the bass, joined. At last Dave Mustaine completed the band at the guitar. Lars was responsible for the drums and James for vocals and the second guitar.

So hier mal noch ein Stück.


Only one thing was missing; the bandname. A friend of Lars asked him how he should call his Metal magazine. Among the possible names he had thought up and showed Lars was also the name "Metallica". The name inspired Lars immediately, so that he asked Ron what he thought about calling their band this like. At that Moment one of the greatest Metalbands ever - "Metallica" - was born.
The bands first demotape called "No Life til Leather" was recorded and they played some small Gigs in and around Los Angeles.
 
Zuletzt bearbeitet:
Danke sehr für den Anfang. Liest sich auch etwas besser :)
 
Hier mal meine Vorschläge, damit du noch was lernst, hab ich mal die Stellen die ich verbessert habe ROT markiert

ThePain schrieb:
The history of Metallica can be traced back until the late seventies. At that time the young, Danish metalfan Lars Ullrich emigrated to the USA. There he acquaint (Unregelmäßig? Ansonsten mit -ed) the rowdy (anderes Wort wäre besser) James Hetfield. Both of them decided to found a band. Because two people are at least one person to few for a Metalband, one pal of James joined to it. His name was Ron McGovney who played the bass. In addition Dave Mustaine joined and played the guitar. Lars was responsible for the drums and James for the singing and the second guitar. While they were looking for a name, a friend of Lars wanted to know how Lars should call his Metal magazine (Magazine is ne Zeitschrift). He had thought up some things which he showed to Lars. Among each other they called themself Metallica. Lars was inspired by the name immediately, so he asked his pals to give this name to their band. Metallica was born.
The band recorded their first demo with the name "No Life til Leather" and played smaller Gigs in and around Los Angeles which were taken up (absorbed ist besser) by the people very well what entailed that the band had already a few loyal fans after a short time. Of course (Wieso ist das "natürlich"?), now bassist Ron McGovney had to say goodbye, because Metallica was not contented with him. Then in a bar James and Lars got to know the gifted bass player Cliff Burton.
The second sacking was approaching. It came often to disputes with Dave Mustaine. He had to go, after he hit James two teeth off. He was replaced with the Exodus guitarist Kirk Hammet.
The demo "No Life til Leather" spreads more and more in / to the Underground. Also the New Yorker producer Jon Zazula heared the demo, and invited the band to itself to New York. There they recorded the Album „ Kill ’ em all “. The record appeared in the end of 1983 (Statt "end" würde ich fall[Herbst] oder winter einsetzen) and was accepted worldwide enthusiastically. Indeed, the Sound was not quite good and James also didnt' sing very well, however, it was one of the first hard Metal albums.
In 1984 Metallica published their second album "Ride the Lightning" which sounded distinctly better than the predecessor.
Then in 1986 they succeed the big breakthrough with the album "Master of Puppets “. That album belonged / s to the absolute classical of the Metal . Then, after the tours through the USA, Metallica went to Europe where an awful accident occurred on the 9/27/1986. The driver of the tour bus fell asleep at the steering wheel (lenkrad) and the bus got out of control, Cliff died immediatly. The other members remained unhurted. With Cliff Metallica didn't only lost a good friend, but also the audience favourite of the band and an ambitious song writer. So Metallica resolved to look around for a new bassist. Jason Newsted was selected from a big number of applicants.
Two other publications followed: The EP " Garage Days Re-Revisited “ with a lot of cover versions of bands, the Metallica influenced and the video „ Cliff ’ em all “ which was published in memory of Cliff.
In 1988 followed the album „ And Justice for all “.
In 1991 „ The Black Album “ was published. The Producer was Bob Rock. The album differed clearly to its predecessors. The songs got shorter and more profound and took off / moved away from the furious Speed Metal of the early years, there to the mainstream Metal and Hard Rock. The record stormed the charts. The band obtained many prices and awards. Now Metallica was no more a pure Metal Act, but also an important size in the commercial pop business as for example Bon Jovi or Gun's' n Roses.
Then in 1995 and 1997 there followed the both Load discs which were influenced strongly by blues and Country and so they didn't earn the predicate "Metal" anymore. The fans were rather disappointed.
Then in 1999 came the Live album "S&M". It is a recording of a unique concert that had been played with Michael Kamen Symphony Orchestra. The old songs became supported by classical elements . The new version of "Nothing Else Matters" stood long on top of the charts.
Then in the beginning of 2001 one member left (again) . On account of health problems bassist and audience favourite Jason Newsted left the Band. Meanwhile the three left members found a new bass player: Robert Trujillo. The former Ozzy - Bassist is a master of his field (Ich würd' nen anderes Wort nehmen) and absolutely the right occupation.
 
Habt großen Dank, ich habe eure Vorschlege zu Herzen genommen, besser gesagt übernomen :p . Aber die Sache mit der Namensgebung, ich wollte eigentlich ausdrücken, dass ein Freund von Lars eine Metal-Zeitschrift rausbringen wollte und dem Lars seine Namensvorschlege für die Zeitschrift zeigte. Dem Lars fiel dann sofort der Name Metallica ins Auge und so fragte er sein Kumper ob die Band den Namen ihn haben kann.
 

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